Daring to Dream

Every once in awhile I do something that I'm proud of. Yep, I can admit it. These moments usually revolve around when I have stepped out of my shell and put action behind my thoughts. An example, you ask? My friend and I stumbled upon this book that was more than a book..it was a project of self discovery. It is called Style Statement by Carrie and Danielle and the premise is that you answer all of these questions about your likes and dislikes about everything you can imagine (fashion, food, rooms, patterns, what feels lovely, what makes you cringe). And then you come up with a "Style Statement" that is 80% your base personality and 20% your flare, in the hopes that this statement would help you make decisions on clothing, decorating, relationships, jobs, etc. with more confidence because you have done some homework on what really makes you tick. Then, you can fold it up into two little words that can fit in your pocket at all times:) I gave this book to 7 of my closest local friends and insisted that we take this journey together. Now, I may sound a little prideful when I say it, but the journey was indeed amazing and the times shared exploring each of our special qualities will be memories that I will cherish always. I am a 'Sacred Ease' by the way....with 'Genuine Ease as a close second. It was always Ease cause if it ain't easy, no thank you. '
Long story short, Carrie and Danielle went their separate ways as business partners (would love to get the skinny on how that went down) and below is an excerpt that I read today from Danielle's blog The White Hot Truth. It caught me because honest writing always strikes a chord in me, plus I love asking people deep questions...never thought of this one. So enjoy......

wonder what their dream is
Our dreams and desires define us. Be they broken, scarcely remembered, on the verge of reality, or in full bloom. They pilot our choices. Dreams have the power to shape the entire landscape of our lives. Because they tend to be so precious and potent, many people keep their dreams and aspirations to themselves.
A dream is a very sacred thing to share.
If you knew someone's dream, you might look at that person very differently…with more tenderness, more respect, more familiarity, and more wonder than before. Dream-sharing melts boundaries and it calls forth resources and commonalities.
Look at everyone you meet this week and actively think to yourself, “I wonder what their dream is?” Ask at least one person this week what their dream is. You can do it subtly, and traditionally, like, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” or “What did you want to be when you were growing up?” Or you can just go for it, playfully and momentously and ask, “So, like, what’s your big dream?” So many people never get asked that. And fewer are really listened to. And for those who are stumped by the question, I guarantee they'll be thinking about it for days to come. Just the asking of that question sets essential things in motion.
The guy in the cubicle next to you may be working on novel about unicorns and espionage. Your sister might be fantasizing about her own cabaret break out performance. Your postal carrier may be patenting the next great invention. Make no assumptions about your partner, your workmate, or the bus driver.
Small, mighty, seemingly impossible, or simply pure – when you know what someone’s dream is, your perspective leans toward openness. And every dream needs space to run.
Oh, my dream-stream...Inspire freedom seeking and engagement with life in a big big way for a long long time. That means my next book, White Hot Truth is a stunning success in every way possible, and I'm wearing suede boots and big gold hoops on stage and laughing "you-know-what-I'm sayin'-don'tchya?" laughs with thousands of people.
And I dream of Morocco and France and a koi pond in the back yard of my mod pre-fab house. Collecting art. Magazine coverage. I dream about communion with my man that blows both our minds. I dream of sitting 'round a fire with leaders and lovers of progress. Being able to give yeses and make phone calls that open doors and new dimensions for people.
I dream of children being taught mindfulness in school, and a movement of conscious birth choices and parenting, and technologies that heal. And I dream of invitations that humble me, and more magical connections with people who I recognize on a cellular level, and we band together to leverage change, and to support and care for each other in the way that reminds you how great it is to share space and time. And I dream of feeling more electric and sweet every single day.
But mostly, I dream of being amazed.
How 'bout you?

Mid life crisis

So, I feel like I am struggling a bit as of late. When I take a step back, I can certainly see why I am having a hard time. There is a lot of change and a lot of decisions swirling around my life and honestly, has been for a few years. It is hard for me though to take that step back and give myself the break when it is in my nature to find, ponder and fix. I had a friend tell me the other day that I am not a very content person. REALLY? Know me much? I can grab on to contentment a moment at a time, yes. I can loose myself in a wonderful song, a special moment with my family, a sunset, even relax for as long as a vacation lasts. But the critique always comes right back. I have been trying to make right decisions about where the kids go to school, what steps to make financially, how to loose weight, what to do with my job, what I can be doing better in my relationships....I'm exausted just writing this all out, much less living it. I think if I explore them via the blog maybe I can write out some clarity and peace.

Back to Work

I started this post back in May but didn't get a chance to finish it and then forgot about it.....

So tomorrow is the first day of a new job that requires 5 days a week for 40 hours. Did I mention that it is the first job in 8 years? Eight. Ocho. Friends and family ask me....are you excited? At first I said yes. Then I just started saying no. Honestly, it is too complicated to even describe. Is this the job that I've always dreamed about? No. But, it's a job that allows me to drop my kids off at school and pick them up when I am off. It's a job that allows me to keep the pulse of what is gonig on in their life. I can't even actually believe how I got here. I was the woman that planned to go right back to work after I had Makenna. The joke around the office was that when I had her on Saturday, they expected me to try to come back the next Monday. Hey, I loved work. It was the place where I received all the accolades and praise. How much praise do I get these days? Nada. So I shouldn't I be happy to be back? Sure! Kids.....I don't think I ever knew how much they truely get into your fiber of being. I was the woman that was all wrapped up in work and then became this servant to two little narcisistic people that half the time make me want to rip my head off. Yet.....I long to place their needs before mine. I feel this tearing of my being in which part of me wants to please myself....to have drive and work toward my hearts desire. The other part of me wants to give THAT idea back to the feminist part of me and soak them up every single day because the time is so short. In the end, I'm sure that I'll juggle and make whatever comes our way work. I'll start off now and will push forward until it doesn't work any more. Sooooo need to work on the black and white thinking!