Humble, Part 2

So I had planned on discussing how another time this month how I humbled myself in the name of humbleness, but something today grabbed me more. I'm in this bible study group, great group of ladies from all points of view regarding the study we are doing about having false gods and putting God first. I always seem about 3 lessons behind and straining to remember all that I've learned during our meetings. So, knowing that another gathering is coming up, I decided to try to catch up a little today. Mind you, just because I have only written about being humble one time, it doesn't mean that it hasn't been weighing on my mind...A LOT! I've questioned myself more than once if I was sure that I wasn't just being a push over for a month. I continued to just take deep breaths and say that it feels right...blessed are the meek, turn the other cheek. Today though, it became clear. My verse to read was James 4:4-6. The highlighted part was "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." It hit me as soft as a feather and as hard as a brick, simultaneously. I was in line in trying to be more humble to others....but even more to the point was to be more humble to God. Being humble to your friends and neighbors, that's all well and good. Being humble to the one that gives you life, that's all well and GOD.

Back to the Resolutions

So back on track with the resolutions, July was giving compliments and I did ok, I guess. It was easy to give some to the kids, and a few with my husband. I can't say that it got much bigger than that though. Like stated before, the adding things on will be a lot more difficult. I didn't have any resolution planned at first for August. The month creaped up on me because of school starting. Not many days went by though, when the month's goal landed in my lap. August is going to be about adding humility. I was confronted by someone who shared with me that they felt I was cold, guarded, and my close friends make other people feel 'less than.' Wow, ok. That was heavy. I would be lying if I said this is the first time this was thrown my way. Heck, my own mother would probably say that I have a way of being hard to reach and distant. The truth is when I am around people that make me feel very comfortable, talking and sharing come easily. But, in a large group or mixed variety of people I tend to feel the vibe and perpetuate it. No one is going to say that I give the warm and fuzzys constantly, I agree. I don't think it's fair though to look at one aspect of a personality and judge so severely about it. This person didn't have the ability to see behind the scenes and see that many times I was working to include others to gatherings...even though the gatherings did not come off as warm and sincere.
There are plenty of friends that I have found that love the whole package of what I offer, so I could have defended my actions and cried foul. Instead, I let the words sink in and heard a voice say, "humility." Wrong or right, she wanted to be heard. Part of me immediately wanted to be that woman who says, "Can't please them all, bye!" Part of me let the words seep into that sad place and thought, "See, she just said what you have known all along..you are not good enough." But the best part of me remembered that I had been praying for God to guide me, use me, show me, and so I decided to be humble. I am not willing to wear everything she said, but I did hear everything she said.....and I turn the rest over to Him.