My Affair

I have to interrupt my usual talk of resolutions and goals to spill out a confession. I've been thinking about it for days and I simply have to purge it out of my mind so I can get on with my laundry. When I went on vacation last week, I had an affair. For years now I have been married to Arizona. At times I admit I am married to her out of necessity...where else I am I going to go, my husband and kids are here? Other times I have really enjoyed the relationship. I have friends here, February is divine when the sun is shinning and the skies are a stunning blue, I can be in a different climate in two hours and in one of the natural wonders of the world in four. But I really slipped up when visiting my first love this month, the south. It started innocently enough. Every visit back I always enjoy the ride to my mom's house from the airport, full of lush green trees and grass. I always wake up the first morning, walk out to the deck and drink the assault of green into my senses. Then inevitably I get stuck in the tourist traffic, get bitten by 20 mosquitoes, sneer at the haze in the sky and go home to the good ol desert. This time however, I took things a step farther and it cost me. I decided to go visit my friend in Charlotte. I had taken the route many times before when I lived in Charlotte and my visited my mom in Tennessee. I must admit I knew what was in store, but I did it anyway.
First, the car that I borrowed was tiny....so we started the trip with excitement/fear/prayer right off the bat. I had no choice but to go slower than normal (it started shaking when I reached 70 mph) so I started drinking it all in. We started with rolling hills, outlined with large green trees. Then we cross over bridges with miles of water and boats flying by with skiers zig-zaging behind. Then we reach the mountain pass where we are crossing over the Appalachians. Beautiful landscape does not describe well enough the lush green trees and mountains. Throw in some scary curves with some trucks beside me for the danger factor and I am hooked, line and sinker. Arizona who? Things don't get better when I arrive at my friends, who lives in a suburb of Charlotte. This particular suburb has tree lined streets, old houses, new houses made to look like old houses, all built around a fantastic college (puts in a little bit of edge to what otherwise would be the Truman Show). Her house is all but perfect, with hard wood floors, a curved staircase, high ceilings, my favorite colors on the walls, and I kid you not, a white picket fence. If she weren't one of my dearest pals I would be incredibly jealous....who am I kidding, I was still incredibly jealous. The good times continue with great conversation and our kids hanging out with each other as naturally as if they were raised together. The weather cooperated in this breakdown of my resistance, of course. In two days, I had a little bit of everything. It was hot, it was lovely, it just so happened to throw a big thunderstorm party while I was out to dinner. While others there may have found it an inconvenience, while sitting in a cozy booth I drank in the rain, lightning, thunder and even hail, like I had been thirsty for years. After all of this wonderfulness, I got to do the return drive. When I returned to Tennessee, I was exhausted. and my mind was spinning. Tell me why again I live in the west? Why exactly did I agree to a "few" years of western adventure and end up staying here for eleven and counting? I know, I know, it doesn't really matter where you live, if you are with your family and friends, you are lucky and where you are supposed to be. For years I talked about going back to the south because I connect to it, because it makes me feel at peace, content. I had started to question that feeling because it had been a few years. Was I just used to longing for the south because that is what I am used to doing? I got my answer last week....I still have a piece of my heart stored up for that land, that life. I am back now to the current marriage of AZ. Not all is bad, I still look for the positives in our relationship...the sky is very blue today and we are halfway through the long hot summer. I look out at the greenish parts of our neighborhood and think it's better than nothing.....and it will do for now. By the way, the kids did get MANY mosquito bites....but I think in my southern lifestyle drunkenness I told them it was mosquito kisses. Hey denial is common in affairs, right?