May and June Resolutions

So May was control...and of course I was tested on that. There is no possible way to give up total control but I did my best to remind myself on a daily basis. When I wanted to obsess about what someone thinking about me, my body image, my kids, I reminded myself that I really wasn't in control. This thought did bring about a calmness in me, I must admit...except for the one time while Scott and I were on vacation. We were out of cell phone range, stayed at an unplanned, spontaneous cottage by the beach and time was ticking before the bed time talk with my kids. I had been having the most incredible day and then suddenly upon realization that I would not be telling my kids goodnight, I fell into a black abyss of panic. Even as I explained to my husband that this was God's way of teaching about control, my voice kept getting shriller. This time talking out loud didn't work. Of course the next morning, as soon as I heard their voices, I was fine to go about my day. I know this is an illusion of contentment deep down. I know logically that if something happens to me or them, the security of a phone call lasts all of one second. Somehow it sustained me all day. Foolish girl. At any rate it was my feeble attempt to control control. I need to continue to work on this one!!
June has been to give up TV. Not too bad, despite the lack of consideration in my household. Seems my thoughts of grandeur that my husband and children would be trying to accomplish this fete with me should be disposed of completely. The hardest point for me (who am I kidding, I chose June so all of my shows were off) is the night time bed TV watching. I read more for sure, and here I am typing (not as much as I thought I would), and overall I think I let go of at least 50-60 meaningless hours of TV this month. That has to promote brain growth, right?
Now half of the year is over and I accomplished trying to take something out of my life each of the 6 months. What have I learned? I can take away quite a few things if I put my mind to it, and while I don't think my habits are out of control, it's good to take a look at the different aspects of your life to see where you can cut back or cut out. What's next? The hard part, adding things in to my life for the next 6 months. I don't even know where to begin. I know I want to push myself to be creative but that's about as far as I have gone. Maybe compliments to my children, vulnerability in showing my loved ones my feelings, reading the bible, showing love to my husband, kind deeds to my friends and neighbors? That's five months right there. I have a couple of days to come up with my first choice, until then- goodnight.